A Common Relationship Myth about Marriage
by Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches

A few years ago we attended a large holiday party and made a very important observation about married relationships.

When married couples ask us for relationship advice, we always think of this even and what it showed us.
 

Part of the entertainment was a magic show. The magician was very good at playing to the crowd and getting them involved in his show.

When it came to the "slice your assistant's head off" act, he chose Susie from the audience to be his assistant.

In trying to entertain the audience, he made a few wrong assumptions about Susie and our relationship.

He first assumed that we weren't married because we'd been holding hands and sitting closer than most "normal married couples"  during his act and seemed
to have a great relationship.

Then he tried to get Susie to admit that things in her marriage weren't really that good and when that didn't work--he then tried to get her to admit that things weren't
as good in our relationship as when we first got together.

Fortunately, Susie came away from the night with her head in tact, but we came away with a deeper understanding of a common myth about relationships in our culture.

This myth is that all marriages are at risk for a relationship breakup and that all marriages naturally deteriorate over time. This deterioration is just a natural evolution in all marriages or long term relationships.

We just don't agree with that myth. We believe that if both people are conscious in their relationship and want to grow together, they do things on a daily basis that promote a deep connection. When couples do this,  their relationship can only improve with age.

What we do to keep our relationship alive, connected and strong is that we both have consciously decided that that is what we want.

We talk constantly about the things that are important to us and we head off problems before they become unmanageable and out of control.

We express gratitude for our relationship to each other each day and have done so since the beginning of our relationship.

We are conscious that we may never have another moment together in this lifetime and because of this, we make every moment precious.
 

These are not just things that we do,  but are the common ingredients of every successful long term relationship we have read about or heard about.

So, we challenge you that if you are currently in an intimate relationship, to begin incorporating one or more of these ideas into your daily lives. If you are not currently in an intimate relationship and want to be, decide how you want that future relationship to be.

Relationships are just like anything else in this universe of ours. They are either getting stronger or they're getting weaker. Whether your relationships are getting stronger or getting weaker, depends on your intentions and what both of you are willing to put into the relationship.